Rogue's Library
by AJCrane
Summary: These are more one shots. They are the thoughts of what each villain might think about when trying to get rid of Batman. You never know which Villain will appear next. They might cross over with the 60's show, but a lot of the ideas originally came from the comics.
1. Riddle Me This

A/N: Though this is really related to the TV Show, I can imagine The Riddler trying to find a way to defeat Batman. Some of the show's ideas came straight from the comics so I believe this would fit in well in BOTH places.

/

Riddle Me This . . . How Do You Out Wit A Bat?

By

AJ

Edward Nigma watched, pursing his lips. He kept himself in the shadows, even in broad daylight, watching and waiting. Too many times he had been stopped and not just by Batman, but by that pun loving kid that always seemed to show up when he least expected it. Not only that, the Batman seemed pretty protective of the kid, not letting other criminals like the Penguin and the Joker get too close.

The Riddler watched as Batman and Robin took down one of the lesser-known mob bosses, trying to smuggle diamonds out of Gotham. He watched as the Penguin was stopped from using his infamous umbrellas to rob remotely. And every time Batman had stuck close to his younger companion. If only there was a way to separate the two, then perhaps there might be a chance.

Was that the key? Could it really be that simple? He would have to find the right mob to help him in his cause, especially the right person with the right measurements; and the right grudge against the very man. He would have to promise them riches beyond their dreams, but what caper could he pull that would be worthy of his talents? He would have to wait and see just what event might present itself with an opportunity of a lifetime. In the mean time, he needed allies and he knew one way how to advertise.

Edward Nigma walked into the newspaper office. "I would like to place an ad in the personals."

The man at the counter pulled out a form. "It's 3.50 for the first three lines and an additional dollar per line. If you run it for three days it's 50. If you run it for a week you get Saturday and Sunday free."

Edward Nigma pulled out a wad of bills. He handed the man two $500 dollar bills. "How long can I run it for with this?"

"For that you can run it all year."

"Well it may take that long, so it's worth the price," Nigma pulled out another two hundred. "For your trouble."

"Gee, thanks."

Ed Nigma wrote the copy, cryptic enough to intrigue, general enough not to draw attention of a certain night flying rodent. Within a couple of days Edward Nigma was interviewing a lovely young lady, though looking at her size, she was a couple of inches taller than him, and that made him feel self conscience.

'Too tall,' he thought. "Her eyes were the wrong color as well.'

He had to pretend he was interested only to a point, but it was clear the woman wasn't going to be suitable for his plans. He saw three other women that week, each not suited for his purpose. When the second week came and went he finally met a woman who seemed promising but it was apparent she was a talker . . . and boy was she ever a talker. She chatted so much his mind started to wonder. Then a mischievous thought came to Edward Nigma that gave him a secret grin.

'Who makes it, but has no need for it. Who buys it, but has no use for it. Who uses it, but can never see or feel it? I'd like to put her in one just to shut her up.'

So, while she continued to drone on, he excused himself and went to the men's room, climbing out of the window just to escape. 'She's probably sitting there still chatting to the thin air. Wonder if she'll suffocate.'

Another three weeks went by when Edward Nigma was once again waiting at a table in a small run down neighborhood café when he looked up to see a young red head with bright blue eyes approach.

"Well hello . . ." Eddie Nigma stated. "And who might you be?"

"Molly," the red head stated.

"Tell me Molly do you like riddles?"

"Doesn't everyone?"

Edward Nigma had to nod at that and he gave her a sideways grin.

"Let me tell you one," Molly stated. "What do you call a mountain that's been cut down to size?"

The Riddler smiled even broader. He knew the answer and this little lady somehow figured out what his personal ad had conveyed quite well. The person had to ask him a riddle and in turn he would answer back.

"What's blind as a bat, but digs deep?"

The girl gave him a knowing smile.

"Looks like we see eye to eye," Edward Nigma smiled. "Let's get together and compare notes."

"Well, several of my friends might not like that," Molly replied. "But if it's in regards to shall we say a certain rodent and his pet bird, I think we can make an arrangement."

Edward Nigma's eye roamed judging whether she really could be the one he was looking for. She certainly had the right eye color, which was an absolute must and with the right wig and mask . . .

"How do you feel about an old fashion mascaraed?"

'I've always wanted to dress up as a bird," Molly gave Edward a grin that was just as mischievous.

"One with a red breast?" The Riddler questioned.

"You've read my mind," Molly replied.

They talked a little longer until something caught Edward Nigma's attention. "I think it's time to blow this popsicle stand."

Molly slipped Edward Nigma a folded sheet of paper. "See you later. Of course you're going to have to convince the head mole of your plan. Shouldn't be too hard. He's not very bright, but he does care in his own way."

Edward Nigma watched as Molly got up and left the way she came. After a few more minutes, Eddie put on his hat and coat and strolled out walking in the opposite direction, a smile forming a nasty grin on his face. It was going to take time, but eventually . . . He thought of an appropriate riddle just for the occasion if everything worked as planned.

Some try to hide.

Some try to cheat.

But time will show we always will meet.

Try as you might to guess my name.

I promise you'll know when you I do claim.

And Batman, I will claim you to be sure.

End

/

Answers to Riddles:

Who makes it, but has no need for it. Who buys it but has no use for it. Who uses it, but can never see or feel it? A Coffin

What do you call a mountain that's been cut down to size? A Hill

what's blind as a bat, but digs deep? A Mole

Some try to hide.

Some try to cheat.

But time will show we always will meet.

Try as you might to guess my name.

I promise you'll know when you I do claim. Death


	2. Heart's Desire

A/N: Catwoman loves Batman, but Batman is only interested in justice and fighting crime. What is a cat supposed to do to get his attention?

/

Heart's Desire

By

AJ

Catwoman stared at the photo, her heart pounding in her chest. Who was this mysterious man in the cowl and why does her heart seem to beat faster when he's around. If only she knew who was under the cowl it might make her life easier. Was he like her, poor and destitute? No, he couldn't be. The car that he drives is far from being a clunker. He had to have money in order to do the things that he does. If only he would turn to crime, then their lives would be purr-fect, but that wasn't about to happen.

Catwoman picked up the other photo of the boy, the one called Robin. He looked utterly delicious . . . and cats loved birds . . . to eat. Of course this little bird was like his mentor . . . all work and no play. She wasn't interested in him in the way she was interested in Batman. He just looked good enough to . . . eat. After all, wasn't she a cat? The Bat however would take exception to it.

'Perhaps, I'm just jealous of the fact that he didn't ask me to be his partner. I'd gladly give up a life of crime . . . if he would only ask . . . in the way a woman wants to be asked.'

Catwoman picked up the newspaper article and read about Mark Andrew's collection. There was something about these two cats that drew her. What she could see of the two golden cats, everyone said they were identical.

'Identical? I don't think so,' Catwoman thought.

She let her fingers trace the delicate lines that she could see that graced the back of each cat. No, these cats weren't identical at all. Just like the markings on a tiger, the markings on these two cats weren't the same.

'I wonder where they came from?' she thought. Reading the article carefully, she discovered they had been passed down in the Andrews' family for at least six generations. They were hinted at being the property of the famous pirate Captain Manx. Legends tell that Captain Manx hid a portion of his treasure so it could be given to the people of Gotham to help the needy and the children, but the treasure never materialized. Captain Manx was captured and hung before he could reveal where his treasure was hidden. Other legends say that he did provide a treasure map of sorts, but everyone who sought that map never found it.

'That's because the map was right in front of them all this time,' Catwoman thought, 'Who to hide a map on a pair of cats than a man named for a cat. He would have been my kind of man.'

Catwoman returned to the photo she had been gazing at earlier. 'I wonder if you would see me differently if I were a rich woman. If I were to find Captain Manx's treasure . . . Ah but I will have to acquire the two cats that will lead me to that treasure. And maybe I'll have to let Batman know as well that I'm back in town. As for Robin . . . well . . . I just might have plans for him as well . . . After all my pets could use a nice juicy bird for their dinner.'

Catwoman stretched out on the bed and hugged the photo of Batman.

'If loving a bat is wrong . . . I don't want to be right. And when I have Captain Manx's treasure, I'll show Batman how I'm the right girl for him.'

End


End file.
